April 30, 2003

Crapper ghost

Last week Nicki suggested that the women's toilet might be haunted. She was the first one in the office and when she went to the bathroom the tap was on, full blast.

This week the tap can't be shut off at all, except at the main cutoff and it's most likely because of a worn out washer or stripped something or other.

I wonder how many 'haunted houses' just have bad plumbing?

Posted by Dave at 03:18 PM
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April 28, 2003

The old 'grab and stuff'

Sainsbury's (a chain of grocery stores) has started a new policy of packing your bags for you, cleverly called 'scan and pack'.

I've always been amazed at why this isn't standard practice in England.

So the idea is good but like most borrowed ideas in the UK, execution is flawed.

If they've been given any training, it was 'Try to fit everything into one bag with the squishy stuff in first and 5 pound cans of peaches on top'.

Posted by Dave at 04:41 PM
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April 24, 2003

Smoked pizza

Had dinner at The Brewery with Lois for pizza. So-so pizza. Mine was artichoke hearts, tomato, mushrooms, and green beans, of all things. Lois had not as spicy as was led to believe beef and green pepper cut into piece smaller than the not as spicy as led to believe beef bits.

The place had a funny smell and we sat in uncomfortable seats behind the fruit machine, the only place really to escape the smoke coming from the chimneys who just finished their day jobs.

We wouldn't go back. And I originally rated it 4/10 until Lois asked me if that meant that it was better than 40% of the resturants I've eaten at. After considering that, I downgraded it to 3/10.

But then it was hard, because I find eating out in Cambridge to be pretty lackluster. If I were to compare my dining experiences here with ones in Korea or in the States, different scales would have to be used.

But whatever scale, this place is on the bottom end.

Posted by Dave at 11:16 PM
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April 23, 2003

My stupid self

I've been having moments this past week when I've doubted my intelligence. It wasn't because of a challenging crossword puzzle or any type of technical issue at work.

I kept programming the VCR wrong. I was missing shows left and right and making mistakes like taping half of Turner and Hooch when I really wanted to tape this weekend's episode of Full Metal Challenge. Turner and Hooch?! Come on, nobody needs to tape that.

I thought it might have been the usual 24 time getting me. 17:00 is 5 o'clock but I relate 16:00 to 6 o'clock. Goofy, I know. But I checked, checked, and triple checked and I'm certain the time was right. And then I found the problem.

My smugness in the knowledge that I'm at least smarter than half the people on this planet was regained as I set the VCR clock for daylight savings time. And I also know that the next time I make a mistake, there's very little chance I'll catch Turner and Hooch again. That knowledge makes me even happier.

Posted by Dave at 01:18 PM
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April 18, 2003

Right size, bite size

How can the world end up with so many things that are the exact same shape, the exact same size? Modern science will lead the way.

All snowflakes are different, all fingerprints unique. Potato chips are variable, unless they're Pringles.

Pringles are freakishly identical. A perfect tube of carbon copy snacks.

Modern science also brings us the wonders of the one size fits all glove, the curiousity of the one size fits most underwear.

And of course, the chicken McNugget: pressure molded into a small set of shapes designed to give the illusion of natural randomness.

Posted by Dave at 02:36 PM
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April 16, 2003

How to eat

Eating's a basic thing, right? Everybody's an expert on eating. Insert food, chew and swallow. Closing your mouth first and making noises are optional.

But there are times when I wish food came with instructions. And at those times I just sit and stare at my food while the wait staff giggle in the corner.

I ordered shrimp in Barcelona and it came and it looked like shrimp, complete with head, tail, legs, and shell. Normally, I'd just peel it all off and eat the meat but everything was seasoned and sauced so heavily it made me pause. Maybe I'm just supposed to eat the whole thing?

And at a thai resturant, I scratch my head. Is this soup or curry? Do I drink it or pour it over my rice?

And at a mongolian BBQ, I look around at other tables. Are these napkins? Do I wipe my face with this or do I eat it?

I'm not the only one confused. I've explained how to eat Korean food, with the lettuce and the rice and the meat and the soybean paste and the face stuffing. And I've taught my friends to eat sushi just as you'd park a car into a garage. I've seen British people eagerly dive into their hamburgers with knives and forks and I laugh at them.

Posted by Dave at 12:29 PM
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April 14, 2003

Small town Cambridge

I've only been here a year or so and I'm already getting that small town feeling. Even more now that I walk the same route to work every morning and pass the same people every morning. There's the girl who works at the bakery. The guys who sell fruit. The freaky lady who wears white miniskirts in the winter.

I see people on the bus. I see people who came into Freespirit asking for bags. I see the person who shoved me in the post office.

And then I see the guy who gave me a funny hair cut and I want to say to him, 'Hey, you. You're the guy who gave me this funny hair cut.' But he'd probably reply that he doesn't remember me since he gives everybody a funny hair cut. He's a bitter barber, I think. Bald people shouldn't cut hair.

Posted by Dave at 03:39 PM
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April 09, 2003

Change is needed

I saw my favourite 'homeless' guy at Sainsbury's, using their change counter machine to convert his bag of begging coins into paper currency. He had a lot of change.

And I use favourite in the most sarcastic way possible. Whenever I see him begging, he always targets women. He always starts off with 'Love, can you...' as he goes from female to female.

Honorable mentions on my list of favourites are the guy who asks for 20p because he is dying for a cup of tea and the guy who asks for change as he cycles past you.

But I guess beggar cassanova's target audience method works well as he was dumping a lot of change into that machine.

Posted by Dave at 05:29 PM
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April 08, 2003

Constants

Every morning when I walk to work I see the same pair of black ear muffs wrapped around the same section of iron gate and it always reminds of those shoes that hang from the telephone lines in Santa Cruz. Cambridge to Santa Cruz in one association.

Every morning I also have a minor anxiety attack as I stick the keys into the door. I always worry this will be the day I fumble and my keys fall down the grate into the darkness below but it's never happened.

It's an irrational fear. I've never dropped keys down any grate and yet I'm always worried it'll happen.

But it wouldn't be a workday morning without that little jolt of anxiety to wake me up.

Posted by Dave at 01:41 PM
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April 03, 2003

Not as fashionated

Yesterday I saw somebody wearing clothes they really shouldn't be wearing. Hip hugger jeans that tried to hug the hips but slipped down a few inches. She was aware that the hip huggers had lost their grip too, as she periodically pulled them back up. But all her pulling was futile as the jeans never moved, in either direction. But something was bothering her and every three steps she'd give a them a token tug.

She wasn't what I'd call fat, but the clothes weren't helping. And I was walking behind her, 10 yards back.

Now while this little tug of war was amusing in its own right, even more amusing was watching the double takes of every single person who walked past her, as they shared looks of digust and amazement with their friends.

Posted by Dave at 01:13 PM
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April 02, 2003

I don't know

So, people with lazy eyes. Well, hopefully nobody out there has two lazy eyes. But people who have a lazy eye, how did they find out?

Do they know they've got a lazy eye or do they find out when somebody finally asks, "Dude, what's up with your eye?"

Posted by Dave at 09:43 AM
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April 01, 2003

Highly Fashionated

Fashion over here is spread out on a larger contiuum. While you've still got the people who don't care, you've got a lot of people who really do care and they're the ones that make people watching so exciting.

Leather seems to be big in the UK. Not just leather shoes or jackets but also hooker boots, skirts, pants, and shirts. And by pants I mean the US definition. They might be wearing leather underwear, but you'd think I'd notice the extra large VPLs.

Fishnets are also considered fashionable, which constantly boggles my mind.

And school girls actually dress like school girls.

Posted by Dave at 01:25 PM
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